l With the Help of Pfitzer

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With the Help of Pfitzer

by

Rachel Marzen

 

Prologue

Around the year 3000, scientists discovered a new chemical element named loonidine. It was thought to have no flaws and to make wishes come true, although the scientists failed to study the element carefully enough to really know whether this was true. They hadn't even determined the element's atomic number before loonidine was being used in everything. It was used to make tables more sturdy and colorful, to make computers as fast as lightning, and to make the paper of magazines so glossy that the magazines could be used as mirrors.

As with all "perfect tools," there was an undiscovered flaw. Loonidine, after having been used in virtually everything on Earth, was found not to be an element. Instead, it carried a disease that turned any living thing it touched into a loony. Not that being a loony is a bad thing. Loonies are like what they were before loonidine came along with some changes, but it meant that there weren't any humans on Earth anymore. Humans, animals, everything that was alive on Earth was turned into some species of loony. Earth was history, and replaced by a strong kingdom, Loonyland.

The loonies all grew to be at least the size of a human. Usually, they kept the same properties, like a tadpole couldn't live out of the water. Sometimes these properties did change so that a hippo had to live on land and a flea had to stay under water.

The human loonies rebuilt their civilization after this change was made. A large area of land was built. A castle that would have made a world record as largest was built on that land and every human loony lived in it unless they had to do something outside. The king, Marzipian, and queen, Annadorelle, gave birth to and raised Pfitzer, though they both died mysterious deaths when Pfitzer was not quite old enough to become king. Pfitzer became king at age 10.

 

Chapter 1

Pfitzer, the human loony king, though 13 years old, was probably the smartest, most powerful, and strongest human loony yet. He was tall with blond hair and brown eyes. He looked about 10 years old without his extraordinary height. Pfitzer was a good king, always checking that the burden he put on his people wasn't too large.

When Pfitzer had been home in the palace, he played games like tag with the other loonies as if he were one of them. Now he played a different game, the war game. The war game was a real game. If Pfitzer made one mistake, possibly his whole army could be killed. This game was not a fun game, and Pfitzer didn't like playing it.

Pfitzer was in an army camp, ruling over the sick and wounded soldiers. The conditions were horrible, even for Pfitzer, who was treated the best of all the soldiers. There was no place hospitable for the army to stay, so they usually slept in the forest in small tents. The forest was filled with trees, whose growth was uncontrolled. Big trees, small trees, dead trees, and live trees surrounded the circular clearing where the soldiers slept.

Pfitzer, king of human loonies, was already being introduced to the wild areas outside of the palace, where nobody came to your aid when you cried for food and water.

The soldiers were stirring in their sleep. One of them was screaming "Mama, Mama, don't let them take me. Mama, Mama..." Pfitzer was trying to make him quiet before he woke the rest of the army. Sleep was the key to survival during wars. One might never know when you would get your next time to nap, so it was best to get it when you could.

"Please be quiet. You know how important sleep is," whispered Pfitzer into the screaming soldier's ear. The soldier got quiet and started to sleep deeply and soothingly as if entering a new dream.

Pfitzer, as the king, took the responsibility of keeping watch while his army was asleep. He didn't have to do it, though he was a kind king, and realizing what his army was going through, decided to take a little bit of responsibility. After all, he didn't fight on the fields, so keeping watch was only fair.

Pfitzer noticed some movement in the distance. He blew his gold horn and immediately, all of the soldiers were out of their tents in rows and columns, waiting to be told the reason for his warning.

"My people," Pfitzer began, "I was noticing movement in the distance. There were two gunshots so far. This means that we will be facing the ant army. Prepare yourselves to win."

There was only the chant of, "As you are bid," and out they marched, with no smiles on their faces. On the army's way, a soldier, Hank, gave Pfitzer a watch. "Use it well and do not sell it," he said, and marched away. Later, Pfitzer wondered why a mere soldier would give him such a valuable object. He decided that it was probably because he could for see the future slightly, and knew that he would need it for victory.

Pfitzer stayed behind, he knew that the ants often used tricks to win. He was going to make sure that they didn't come from behind.

 

Chapter 2

When the army had left, two gloved hands grabbed Pfitzer from behind and dragged him away. He struggled to see his captor's faces, though as he tried to turn his head, he was blind folded.

After about a mile of dragging, Pfitzer was thrown into a truck. The walls of the truck were about five feet high with barbed wire surrounding the top. The bottom of the truck had a few sticks and a lot of hay. It looked like the truck had once been used to transport horses.

There was no way to escape. Pfitzer tried to think of good things about being caught. If these were ant loonies, maybe they would reveal some of their plans and then, if Pfitzer rejoined his army, he could tell them of the plans.

Pfitzer remembered the watch that one of his soldiers had given him. What was it for? Why had he asked him not to sell it? He pulled the watch out of its clear, plastic wrapping and examined it. In the package were the watch and an object that looked like a flower press, obviously squeezing some important information together. At the corners of the two pieces of wood were screws. Pfitzer looked around desperately for something that could take the screws out, though the most he could find was hay and sticks. He managed to find a relatively small but sturdy stick and started twisting it. Nothing happened. He started searching around the floor desperately for an even better stick, though he knew chances were slim. The sticks were typically too thick for the small area intended for the screwdriver, though sturdy, or too small and fragile. He was about to pray to the gods, Appolanesia and Zeuaphina, when he saw his mother staring at him, her silver vapor filling the air with an eternal light, with her clear blue gaze.

"Use this," she said and handed him a small screwdriver. With this new tool, he easily took out all of the screws. Between the planks of wood was a small scrap of paper that said, "It can take you back in time using the silver switch. Use it well and do not sell it or it will turn against us."

Pfitzer figured out what this meant through experimenting. He went forward 15 minutes in time and he was sitting, about to be squashed between two walls. His head was swimming. He looked at his watch and tried to remember how he had moved ahead. He remembered that he had moved the time 15 minutes ahead on the watch and pressed the silver switch.

By now, his ribcage was being compressed. He grabbed the watch and moved the time to 13 minutes earlier. He felt like he was on a swing, quickly swaying up and down with wind brushing past his face. After a minute of this glorious feeling, he found himself with the screwdriver getting rid of the screws. He stopped, because he already knew the message. He tried to find a way to get over the cart.

Once again, his mother appeared. She was smiling at him. She said, "Use the sticks, use the sticks, use the..." And her voice faded away into the distance.

Pfitzer was confused at first. How could sticks be used to help him? He looked up at the barbed wire and then down at the bottom of the truck. The giant walls looked over his face casting a dark, looming shadow that made him cringe.

Pfitzer looked at his watch. It was two minutes until the squeezing of the two walls. After noticing from his watch that two minutes had passed, he brought the switch back 4 minutes and pressed. He felt his mind swirling for what seemed like hours, though when it stopped, he was four minutes behind.

It suddenly dawned upon Pfitzer how to use the sticks. One by one, he attached the sticks with hay to make a ladder. When Pfitzer had made about eight feet of ladder, he started swinging it up, hoping it would catch the barbed wire. As he was doing this, he started to overhear a conversation between his captors.

"So his army is unguarded, shall we strike out our forces from behind?" one man asked.

"Perfect plan, Fred," replied the other man.

"I knew you would trust my ideas sooner or later, Shauna," said the first man.

"Well, you know we can't trust anybody," said the second man who now Pfitzer really disagreed with. Didn't you have to trust your army for your army to trust you?

"I guess," replied the first man.

"And the weapons?" asked the second.

"The poison arrows are ready, sir," replied the man in a soldier like tone.

"I expect the plan to be carried out in strict order. Not one thing is to go wrong or our only strategy is ruined. You wouldn't like that, would you?" said the first man, clearly a little nervous.

"Absolutely, Master," said the second voice.

"Good. You are now dismissed," said the first man, trying to get the second out.

"In this deserted desert?" he asked.

"Would you rather be left in another country and be asked to cross the ocean?" asked the first man, who seemed to be the second man's boss.

"No, Master," he replied.

That was the last that Pfitzer heard, though the little they said gave him a good idea of what they were going to do to his army.

Pfitzer noticed that the sides of the cart were slowly closing in on him. Luckily, his sticks had just met the barbed wire and he was able to climb out safely.

When Pfitzer had climbed out of the car, he was lost. There was a vast desert surrounding him with a cactus every few yards. He noticed a house nearby. It was an old house that looked like it must have been built about 1000 years ago, before loonies.

Pfitzer stared at the house. He was hot and thirsty. He opened the door to the old shack. It was deserted. It must have been left in haste for there was food still on the table and things were everywhere, proving that the people who had lived here hadn't had the time to pack their things before leaving.

Pfitzer was glad to see that the sink worked. He turned it on and started gulping all of the water that he could get.

Pfitzer wasn't as thirsty when he had finished, though the tap hadn't held much water. This was probably because there wasn't a lot of water in the area.

Pfitzer started to get tired, he had a long day. He saw a cozy bed in the corner a lay down in it. He thought about the events of the day. They were strange, happening one after the other. He started to fall asleep.

 

Chapter 3

Pfitzer had taken a long nap when he heard knocking at the door. This wasn't his house, so naturally, he had to open the door. He unlatched the wooden hinge and opened it. Outside, staring at him was a giant who probably used to be an elephant or a hippo, big and ugly.

"What do you want?" asked Pfitzer.

"I want to eat you, puny" the giant barked.

"Well, I'm very sorry, though I don't want to be eaten," claimed Pfitzer, shaking with fear. This was a very cowardly thing to do, though death seemed very frightening to him.

"Do you think that I'm going to wait for you to get ready?" the giant asked.

"I wouln't like to be eaten today," Pfitzer said with frustration, hoping it would drive the giant away.

"I don't care a thumb nail weather you want to be eaten today or tomorrow. I'll eat you anyway."

"The whole army is going to come out of this door in three seconds." Pfitzer whistled very loudly and started stamping his feet on the ground to make the sound of footsteps. It worked, and the giant fled. Pfitzer guessed that this was a particularly dumb giant, and he must be on the lookout for smarter ones in the future.

Pfitzer decided to take a stroll in the desert. He saw a lot of things he had never seen before, such as loonies that used to be birds, geese, and porcupines. He started looking for something edible, such as berries. He came upon a berry bush. All he could think about was eating, so he gobbled about five berries. He immediately started throwing up until his stomach was empty. Then he realized that these were poisonous berries that he should avoid them.

When Pfitzer walked back to the shack, there appeared to be seven giants, twice as big and ugly as the one who had visited him that morning. They were carrying large torches with flames, wildly swaying in the hot air. At the moment they were breaking down the house. Pfitzer decided that there was no way to escape this nest and went backward in time by an hour.

The giant had just left and Pfitzer decided to build a trap. Once again, his mother appeared before him. "My boy, you must dig, for giants fear holes and die immediately when caught in one."

Pfitzer dug a large, moat-like hole with his hands and feet. When he had finished digging the whole, he put down some cardboard he found in the shack. Then, he placed some sand and leaves over the cardboard so that it resembled the rest of the ground.

It was about time for the giants to come. Pfitzer waited until he heard a soft thumping noise in the distance. It got louder and louder until it was so loud the he had to cover his ears to keep from going deaf. A few minutes later, the sounds were being replaced by shrieks and cries of agony.

"Help me!"

"He's trying to eat me."

"It's your fault we got into this mess, Joaquin."

"Let's eat him, he deserves to be punished."

"I agree!"

The loud noises were soon replaced by conversation about who to eat. Whoever the giants decided to eat, you could hear screaming until a dead, ugly, silence, would fill the air. Every giant except for one was eaten and he starved to death.

 

Chapter 4

Pfitzer was congratulated by two passing human loonies. "I heard that you killed seven trolls in one go. Is that true?"

"Thank you, though it was giants, not trolls."

"How did you do it?" the second loony asked.

"I dug a large hole and covered it. The giants fell in."

"Now I understand. So, how did you lure them there?"

"They were after me in my house." Pfitzer told this lie because he didn't want these loonies to suspect him of anything. "I dug a large hole, they are very large," Pfitzer said. "Have you heard about the war going on, the one between the ant loonies and human loonies?"

"Yes I have. In fact, I'm the commander of the ant loonies," said the first loony.

"I'm a faithful soldier for the side of the gods," said the second loony.

"That is indeed, very wonderful. I was sent as messenger here, trying to figure out when we should start the big plan. My army is waiting." Pfitzer said this calmly and elegantly, a skill required of a king.

"We were expecting you," said the second loony. "We believe that should at midnight tonight. Now rush off and tell them messenger. We will receive word when you enter headquarters."

"Thank you for telling me, dearest friends." Pfitzer saluted the two loonies and went away. He was confused. Why would human loonies be working for the ants? He figured that they must be slaves; there was no other way to explain it.

His mother appeared before Pfitzer for the last time. "Pfitzer, use your watch to save your army. Think about it. Use your watch." Pfitzer turned the watch back to a few minutes before he was captured.

 

Chapter 4

Pfitzer was keeping guard, though there was no need to. "Everyone, uniforms on!" His army was scrambling around to get their uniforms. Instead of lagging behind though, Pfitzer went with his army. No hands grabbed him. According to Pfitzer's clock, it was midnight, so the slaves must have made a mistake or tried to deceive him by making him think that he would have three days to prepare his army. "North, East, South, and west," he shouted, and his army turned so that they were facing all directions. The ant loonies marched from the south, though they were thoroughly surprised to see their enemies facing them. They motioned for their other go somewhere else, they were caught, too. This was not what the ant loonies expected. Unprepared to meet a fair match, the ants could not fight very well. Most of them were chased away, but a few were killed. While the army did this, Pfitzer was talking to himself saying, "Thank gods for me being able to have such loyal friends, my mother and fellow soldiers."

After the battle was over, Pfitzer returned the watch. When he returned it, the man who had given it to him, Hank, whispered, "I knew you could do it, our beloved king Pfitzer."

Pfitzer returned to his palace and planned a great feast in celebration of their victory. Every loony was invited into the feasting hall of the great king Pfitzer. The palace wasn't home to Pfitzer, though. After a lot of thought, he realized that it was his army that was home. The war had lasted seven years, starting when he was 13. He was 20 now and had gained a lot of wisdom. His home was the human loony army.

 

 

The End


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